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I will NOT be One Less Loney Girl…or something.

I am for all intents and purposes, a girl.  I have the parts, I use the parts.  I am domestic to a point.  So it should not come as a massive shock that I go to the place where girls go and I get things like my nails done, massages and the like.  So when I came across this excerpt from Express I was horrified.  

“IT’S ONE FEWER LONELY GIRL

Justin Bieber, in partnership with Nicole by OPI, is designing a nail polish line inspired by his hit singles. The first six lacquers in the One Less Lonely Girl collection will debut at Wal-Mart in December, with more to come in January, Popeater.com reported. Among the hues: One Less Lonely Glitter (lavender), Prized Possession Purple, Give Me the First Dance (silver) and Me + Blue (dark blue).”

I give any of you permission to not only harass me but also, injure me if I end up in one of these colors.  I do not understand the Biebs.  I don’t understand why the girls love him so much.  I don’t know much about him BUT I know that every time I see him on that American Cancer Society commercial singing “Hppy Birthday, I instantly want to kill babies.

Bailey Flix You Off: When In Rome

Review:
If you can get over the cheesy story line then you’ll thoroughly enjoy yourself. It seems they handed a story line to great comedic writers and said, “Make this work.” And they did. There are brillant moments that make you truly laugh. There are no twists and turns, so if you’re looking for a suprise, this is not the movie for you.

For those of you who don’t know the backstory: Kristen Bell (Beth) is a scorned workaholic who ends up being moderately swept off her feet at her sister’s wedding in Rome by Josh Duhamel (Nick.) While there, she gets a little drunk and decides to take coins out of Trevi Fountain (the Fountain of Love) out of spite. The men who belong to these coins then fall for her and she spends the rest of the movie dodging them and their incredibly creepy advances.

There is not a lot to this movie, except a good time. It’s witty, it’s cute, and overall It gets 3.5 pandas out of 5. It’s a matinee or a redbox rental, but I don’t think you would be angry if you spent $11 to see it.

Rating:    

Background information on my reviews: I find that the best way to see movies is with absolutely no expectations. This allows me to really evaluate the movie without any prejudice towards it regarding the actors, directors, producers etc.

Official Statistics
Running time: 91 minutes

Rated: PG-13
Cast:
Kristen Bell – Beth
Josh Duhamel – Nick
Will Arnett – Antonio
Alexis Dziena – Joan
Jon Heder – Lance
Dax Shepard – Gale
Danny DeVito – Al

Director: Mark Steven Johnson

Official Movie Web Site: http://touchstone.movies.go.com/wheninrome/

Healthy eating

I have realized a major flaw in myself.  I eat healthy when told what the nutritional facts are, but if you don’t show me what they may be, I eat what I want.  Now this would be fine if I lived the sort of life that allowed for eating at home only.  Unfortunately, that is not my life. 

So this morning I decided that I needed to hit the produce section of a grocery store and really get some vitamins and minerals in.  I went to Whole Foods, gave them a lot of my money and have ingested a mixed fruit bowl for breakfast.  There is a salad in my lunching future.  I am hoping that this healthy eating today makes me feel like a super hero.  I would like to feel like a super hero.

If I were a super hero, I would fly to work.  I wouldn’t sit in traffic, even in the rain.  I would fly my friends to work too.  Man, I want to fly to stuff.

Thanksgiving comes early

I have to be out of my apartment on November 30th.  That really puts a damper on spending Thanksgiving out of town.  This being said, I am celebrating today…the sunday before.

Turkey…check

Stuffing…check

Potatoes…check

Girl Scout cookies….check…Wait, who eats Girl Scout cookies for Thanksgiving? 

Me. 

Some of you may be aware of my love of these treats and how I think that the law of supply and demand keeps their popularity in serious check.  The fact is, these are only a part of this year’s holiday because I bought them from a friend with a child in Rochester.  Thus, my delivery time is slightly delayed. 

I must come clean, though.  I cheated on Emily.  I didn’t mean to.  But the girls at the grocery store were selling them and my cookies were 330 miles away.  It was only one box.  And it was delicious. 

There I said it.  I love you, Emily.  Even if sometimes you are the devil, as most children are.

Today I give thanks for the amazing people in my life, and for being able to reconnect with family whom I love dearly but only see once every few years.  For my family, who allow me to make my dreams come true and who have overcome SO much and keep on truckin’.  I give thanks for the great job opportunity in front of me, for the support of the people around me and for the many little Girl Scouts and their cocaine aka cookies.

Questions answered

Since the announcement of my new job, I have been getting a lot of the same questions so I figured I would answer them all here:

Q.  Are you really going to DC101?

A.  Yes.  Allaccess, FMQB and RAMP don’t lie.

Q. Why aren’t you going by “Ty” at DC101?

A. Elliot’s producer is named Tyler…so I will be going by my last name on air.  Most people will continue to call me Ty and I will still answer to that.  I will also answer to Bailey, Panda, Tydig, Diggery and pretty much anything else friendly.

Q.  Are you moving to DC? 

A. Yes I am.  Well technically, I am moving to Bethesda short term with a friend.  From there I will decide where I am living permanently.

Q. What is your job going to be?

A. I will be doing middays and the local music show “Local Lix.”  I will not be doing programming or music directing. 

Q.  How do you feel about all this?

A.  I am bummed to be leaving Baltimore.  I am still in shock that I am going to get to work with such a great staff and at a legendary station.  I am excited to focus on being a jock.  I miss the days of being exhausted after my show because I ran a ton of calls and was so into it that it was cardiovascular.  I am also excited about having hobbies again. 

Q.  Where will you get Franks Red Hot?

A. I am taking a case from the mailroom with me, then I will have to go back to buying it.  Sad.

Q.  Will you visit Baltimore?

A. Yes, mostly during baseball season.

Q.  What is your contact information?

A.  My cell is the same, my email address still works right now but you can start using Bailey at DC101.com or my personal email is tybaileyradio@gmail.com

I think that pretty much sums ‘er all up.  Feel free to hit me with additional questions!  Thank you all for the well wishes and congratulations.  I am very grateful and lucky to have such great people in my life.

Moving is a common theme in my life.

So I am moving…again.  It’s not across the country or anything but, thing is, I don’t even like my stuff. I have a bunch of crap I keep moving from city to city and never use or even unpack!

But alas, not this time.

I am donating all my cds to tunes 4 troops. I am donating anything I haven’t worn in 5 months to the battered women’s shelter. I am going to sell my futon and other furniture on craigslist and if no one buys it, good will it is.

I feel liberated and I haven’t even done it yet. Just the thought of moving with a few boxes and nothing else…good god I am almost sexually aroused right now.

VICTORY IS MINE!

Being an adult is over rated…much like Friends reruns

I am moving.  I need to pack.  The last time I moved it was literally 2 miles to the house I am in now.  Needless to say the packing was sort of throw in a box, maybe it will close and not break in a 2 mile drive.

This time, I have boxes and bubble wrap, tape, markers…the works.  I even have that weird paper on a roll.

When I was a kid we moved a lot.  Buffalo to Syracuse, 3 different places in Syracuse then to Rochester.  I know how to pack.  Problem is, I don’t care to.  Yet I don’t want the movers touching my crap.  And I don’t even have enough crap to really require movers.  I know this to be fact cause one of the movers, in between hitting on me over the phone, told me to just buy new crap.  Thanks bro.  Douche.

I don’t even like my stuff.  I don’t want to move it either but I don’t get reimbursed when I buy new stuff…thats not how it works.  So the crap-gets packed-by me-and moved-far away.

That wouldn’t be a bad song title.

Apparently I have a urethra

Who knew?  I probably should have payed attention in High School Health.  Thanks for the anatomy lesson Laurie.

Effing Vending Machine

So we just got my favorite candy in the vending machine at work, Peanut Butter M&Ms.  DEEEEEELICIOUS.  I was having an ok day…did my show..grabbed lunch…doing some work.  And then it hit me,  I CAN BE EATING PBM&Ms!  So I grabbed 75 cents and hit the break room.  The fuckers got stuck!  I tried shaking and knocking it with my ass, to no avail.  Last time one of the sales guys got it, he was not successful this time.  So I went and got 75 more cents…then THAT pack got stuck…75 more cents later…I have 3 bags of goddamn m&ms and I am poor.  WTF.

Seriously…

How did my family even live with me like this?  I mean really.

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