Becoming Illegal

The Honorable Tom  Harkin
731 Hart Senate  Office Building
Phone (202) 224  3254
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan  and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I
am writing to ask  for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of
Homeland Security in  an effort to determine the process for becoming an
illegal alien and they  referred me to you.

My primary reason  for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stems from  the bill which was recently passed by the Senate
and for which you voted. If  my understanding of this bill’s provisions is accurate,
as an illegal alien  who has been in the
United States for five years, all I
need to do to become a  citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for
three of the last five  years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am
to get the process  started before everyone figures it  out.

Simply put, those of  us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
every year so I’m excited  about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes
in return for paying a  $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be
illegal retroactively?  This would yield an excellent result for me and my
because we paid  heavy taxes in 2004 and  2005.

Additionally, as an  illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
room as my primary  health care provider. Once I have stopped paying
premiums for medical  insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a

Another benefit in  gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would
receive preferential  treatment relative to her law school applications, as
well as ‘in-state’  tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States
for my  son.

Lastly, I understand  that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
renewing my driver’s  license and making those burdensome car insurance
premiums. This is very  important to me given that I still have college age
children driving my  car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be
most appreciative.  Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Donald  Ruppert
Burlington , IA


1 Comment »

  1. Mike Harmon Said:

    I just stopped by your blog and thought I would say hello. I like your site design. Looking forward to reading more down the road.

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